Letter from a Jilted Lover

[Dedicated to KC, who insisted on bringing a backup laptop even when I laughed at him, and Daisy, who’s been appropriately sympathetic over the past 3 months.]

images

Blip bleep bloop.
What’s the scoop?
Haven’t I treated you right?
Even bought you extra gigabytes.
Then just when warranty expired,
Your motherboard got tired.
I had hoped together we would roam.
But no.
I hope you’re happier in your new home.

Blip bleep bloop.
What’s the scoop?
Found a new love with a solid state.
Forever you’ll be my online mate.
Don’t you know I need you so?
You cheater! A virus?! Oh, my new Lenovo…

Blip bleep bloop.
What’s the scoop?
Cleaned you up back to factory issue.
Welcome back; I could kiss you.
But wait; what’s this?
Now your wireless card is on the fritz?
I want to surf the Internet as a pair…
Maybe you’re jealous of my Skype affairs.

Blip bleep bloop.
What’s the scoop?
Monitor on, monitor off.
Monitor sputter, monitor cough.
I gaze at you lovingly all day long.
How can you do me so wrong?

Blip bleep bloop.
What’s the scoop?
Another motherboard, another fail.
This time, love, you’re off to jail.
But like a stalker I’ll cool my feet,
‘Til your warranty repair’s complete.

Blip bleep bloop.
What’s the scoop?
I beg of you: when we’re together again,
Show me some love.

Or I’ll pitch you to a hungry lion.

 

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10 comments

  1. Bobbi, What a great poem. How clever! Loved it.

  2. That’s my girl – take no prisoners !

  3. Amazing!!!!!

  4. You should ask Dezy to help you put a melody to that one. Something bluesy…

    Dedicated to me, too? Thanks!

  5. Love it! Have to admit, when I saw the title in my inbox I had flashbacks of my own blog… Sorry you’re still having computer problems. I’m going to do to mine what you’ve done in the photo before we leave here – hoping it lasts that long…

    1. Oh, wow. I totally copied your theme! I knew there was a connection to your post but I thought it was that that this spilled out of me in about 15 minutes of pulling-my-hair-out frustration. The other never occurred to me – but now of course it’s obvious.

      Creepy, the way you get into my head…

      1. No, never creepy, nifty! I told Steve how tickled I was that in such a short time you know me well enough to know that buying a “how to run” book “is so like [me]”. In any case, your letter is witty and wonderful and happy to hear it flowed easily – always feels good that way!

  6. Sara Meeks · · Reply

    Bobbi, You are so clever! What a great poem. I didn’t know you were a poet.

    Sally

    ________________________________

    1. Ha! Me, neither! :o)

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