More Sex!!- I announced as I came through the door. We are, after all, in Florence, Italy. It’s not Venice or Paris, but close enough. A brief wave of apprehension rippled over Bobbi’s face as she thought that I meant it was to transpire at that moment. The time was 8:30 a.m. I had just returned from the laundromat. Bobbi was sitting in front of her computer. This was not how she figured her day would begin. Frankly, it was not how I thought my day would begin. I just wanted some clean clothes. This was the first time that I washed my clothes since we started this outing…..ok…I had washed a few things in our kitchen sink the previous week (other than to save my dignity, that factoid is not relevant to this story. ) Another irrelevant side note: Our apartment has a washing machine, but sans dryer. I was in the mood for one-stop shopping….dirty clothes in……..clean, dry clothes out…done deal.
I awoke Thursday morning prepared to hit the laundromat. Bobbi and I did some reconnaissance the previous night. It is one block from our apartment. The owners had thoughtfully hung on the wall instructions of the four steps to wash and dry one’s clothes….written in big letters, in 3 languages, complete with pictures and arrows……. easy. The money machine only took coins and bills in the denomination of 5 and 10 Euros. (The lowest denomination of a Euro bill is the 5; less than that are 2 Euro coins and 1 Euro coins and 50 cent coins…etc..) Both a washing machine and a dryer each required 3.5 Euros.
Thursday morning I loaded my pack and headed out. I had 15 Euros. I figured that I could be in and out and working by 10:30 am. Once I arrived at the laundromat, I reviewed the instructions. I loaded 2 machines. I added detergent. I went to the money machine, and since it also accepted a “laundromat card” I figured I would buy one of those. So, I then put my 10 Euro note in the “card” machine next to the money machine and was offered four choices: “classico,” ”sensitivo,” and 2 others I couldn’t understand, but the price on those was only 1 Euro each. I certainly didn’t want a card that was only worth 1 Euro, nor did I want a card for sensitive clothes, i.e. one that only worked for the “delicates” cycle. The machine was strictly Italian, so I was guessing. But I went for the most expensive card- “classico” that was for me -just a good old classic wash and dry…….Out popped a box……not a card..…damn. I figured that I bought a box of detergent….not so. I was now the proud owner of a ten pack of Italian preservativos…that’s condoms to us Yanks.
I was now also short on laundry money. So, after looking around to make certain that no one had witnessed my brilliance-the place was empty, I spent my remaining 5 Euros on one load and left the other load in the machine. I then made trax back to the apartment for more cash. When I arrived, I threw open the door …….flung the box of preservativos towards Bobbi, and proclaimed…